This is a blog post about a blue shirt.
OK. I’m kidding. This isn’t really a blog post about a blue shirt. That would be goofy.
This is actually a blog post about a pair of pants, camouflaged as a blog post about a blue shirt.
This story actually began last year when I wanted to buy a pair of camouflage jeggings. I was seeing them everywhere. On blogs and web sites and in stores. I tried some on and decided I really couldn’t pull it off. Instead of blending into their environment, the camo pants seemed to be screaming, “Hey look at me!”
This fall, I found the same pants, but instead of the traditional camo colors, these were dark blue, grey and black. I tried them on and decided it was time to satisfy my long suppressed need for camo pants. The darker colors looked much better than the green and brown.
I excitedly put them on the next morning and couldn’t wait for the “Ooh”s and “Ahh”s I would undoubtedly hear from my fashion critics, aka, my children. They weren’t QUITE as enthusiastic as I had hoped.
“Seriously?!” the 13-year-old grunted. “You have to be kidding.”
I asked my 10-year-old fashionista for her opinion.
“I think they’re great, Mom. My friends will love them. They will all say, ‘We love your mom. She dresses like a little kid.’ “
I decided to go ahead and wear the pants for the rest of the day, mainly to annoy my fans. I had been trying to think of a sure-fire way to ensure they would need therapy later in life, and I thought their mom’s mid-life camo pant crisis would forever be seared on their brains, ensuring the need to spend thousands on rehab.
About a week later, I pulled out the jeggings again, but this time I paired them with a long, light-weight sweater. Perhaps I could camo the camo by covering more of it, and they wouldn’t even noticed the pants.
“Not again,” the 13-year-old mumbled into his bowl of Cheerios as I bounced downstairs into the kitchen.
“Whatever,” the 10-year-old chirped.
“You look BEAUTIFUL, mama!” the 4-year-old announced.
I decided to focus on her proclamation, despite the fact she says that about all of my outfits.
I wasn’t ready to give up. Another week went by, and I was really longing to wear those camo jeggings again. I convinced myself that the problem wasn’t with the pants at all. What I really needed was a new shirt to go with the pants.
I had a little time while the 4-year-old was at a friend’s house, so I headed over to Old Navy. I have to say this turned out to be an awesome experience because I had not been to this particular Old Navy store in a long time. The manager there was not only super nice and helpful, but he also looked exactly like an Old Navy mannequin. From his perfectly styled dark hair to his shiny white teeth to his rolled up jeans and sneakers, this guy had perfected his Old Navy look.
I stalked him around the store for a while to stare at his awesomeness. I thought about asking if I could take his photo to put it on Facebook, but even I have to draw the line somewhere.
Anyway, while I was following him around, I stumbled upon the perfect blue shirt. I know what you’re thinking. How can a blue shirt really be that great? But this one was exactly what I had in mind. It’s super soft with long sleeves and it’s kind of long. It’s one of those comfy shirts that you wish you had in every color. I, of course, bought dark blue to go with my dark blue camo jeggings.
When I put on my new outfit the next day, the 13-year-old merely shook his head in exasperation. “Why can’t my mom accept the fact she’s 45?” I’m pretty sure is what he was thinking.
I’m hoping my camo pants will grow on my kids. But if not, I can always use them as a bargaining chip. Who knows what they will do if they know there’s a threat I might show up in my favorite outfit to parent-teacher conferences, school events and sporting events! 😉
I was thinking of asking you, my lovely readers, if a 45-year-old mother of four should dare to wear camo jeggings in public, but I didn’t want to be deafened by the awkward silence. So, I’ll ask this instead: “What’s your favorite thing about fall?” (other than camo jeggings).