I’ve been really frustrated with myself the past few months. I want to blame it on the never-ending winter. Or maybe cutting caffeine out of my life. My husband says that maybe the scale needs to be recalibrated.

Whatever the case, my almost 45-year-old metabolism seems to have come to a complete stop. Every few days I weigh myself. And every few days, the numbers seem to climb a little bit higher.

I have been trying to eat healthier foods and cut out evening snacks, and I’ve even been jogging on the (stupid, awful, torturous) treadmill. The scale doesn’t care. It just laughs at all of my efforts.

I was lying in bed thinking about this last night. My 4-year-old woke me up four times throughout the night, so I had lots of opportunity to lay there and ponder as I tried to get myself back to sleep. I went through all sorts of ideas, ranging from a 30-day fast to training for a marathon to drinking six cups of coffee a day to try to speed up my metabolism. Finally, I decided I need to make one positive lifestyle change at a time.

My first would be drinking more water. I stopped drinking caffeinated beverages four months ago, but I still have a few cups of decaf tea or coffee throughout the day, mixed with a big spoonful of sugar. I could probably cut a few hundred calories just by switching to a water-only diet.

When I got up this morning, instead of heating hot water for my nice, soothing, relaxing cup of decaf tea, I poured myself a huge cup of cold water. I drank the first cup and then another as I got myself ready, packed lunches and then took our youngest to preschool.

I was on my third glass of water when I sat down at my computer to start working for the day. I kept getting distracted by my desire to drink something — anything — other than water. I decided to eat some fruit. Then I gave in to an oatmeal cookie (or two). Just because I couldn’t have sugar in my drink didn’t mean I couldn’t have sugar at all, right?!

I was trying to focus on a complicated problem I needed to work through. I couldn’t think. I kept daydreaming of drinks other than water. I made some zero-calorie Crystal Light. That isn’t totally cheating, is it?

Finally, I admitted to myself my day was going to be a complete bust if I didn’t get the water off my brain! My body seemed to be completely off balance. I brewed a nice warm cup of tea and stirred in a big spoonful of sugar. (I might have even munched on some Fritos, just to try to recalibrate myself.)

In my effort to save a few calories by drinking only water, I think I consumed at least 1 million calories in snack food. I can’t decide if I should give it another shot tomorrow. I considered all of the things I will never be able to accomplish in life if I can’t live with water as my only beverage.

I will never be able to be on Survivor. Sometimes they don’t even have water to drink!

I won’t be able to run a marathon. There’s no way I can run for four hours without anything to drink but water.

I won’t be able to live in a third world country. Who knows if they will have sugar for my tea.

I thought of the millions of people who live in countries where they would cherish clean drinking water, and here I am about to faint because it’s all I have to drink! Why is it so hard to make one small change to the way I live my life? Is anyone else half as wimpy as I am?

Now if you’ll excuse me, all this blogging is making me thirsty. 🙂

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