A blog post about blogging

So, I was thinking about my blog the other day.

Some of you probably remember when I started blogging. I would write something nearly every day. It seemed that everywhere I went and everything I did, I was thinking about how I was going to turn it into a blog post. I couldn’t go to sleep at night until I wrote something on my blog. I had to control myself to keep from updating my blog multiple times throughout the day.

Of course, with all that blogging, I was also always hoping someone would read my blog. I would mention it in casual conversation. I would read blog posts about how to attract blog readers. I would read blogs about how to be a better blogger.

Each morning, I would make the rounds of all of the “successful” bloggers, lurking around to try to figure out what made them so popular. I would dream about the day when I would eventually BE a blogger. Someone would ask me what I “do,” and I would say, “Oh, I’m a blogger.” (As if that was an important thing to be.)

I would spend time each day reading blogs and leaving comments, hoping to attract more readers to my blog. Other bloggers would reciprocate by reading my blog, and then I would reciprocate by reading theirs and on and on and on. I would get annoyed and envious when someone else would write a blog post about the most trivial topic and get dozens, even hundreds, of comments.

And eventually, I was trying so hard to be a good blogger that it wasn’t as fun to write on my blog. I started to worry about the topics I was choosing. Would people be interested in reading them? What would people think of me if I wrote about THAT?

The one thing I do miss from that time is the interaction I got to have on a daily basis with readers. I loved my handful of loyal readers. I got to re-connect with friends from my childhood. I made new friends who I will probably never meet in real life. I also made new friends who I have met in real life and are now my real friends. And I got to know some friends on a deeper level from reading their blogs.

I realized that this year, I’ve gotten to the point where I’m almost afraid to blog. This year has been full of trials and challenges. It seems that most people who like my blog like it because it’s funny. And I haven’t felt very funny this year. I ran out of funny things to say. It’s much harder to write about personal topics and do it in a way that doesn’t sound whiny or preachy or annoying.

It’s also hard to write about serious topics and wonder who might be reading. And it’s hard to write about serious topics and think no one is reading because the topic was too serious.

It all became a vicious cycle. I stopped blogging as much. People stopped reading as much. Without the interaction of readers, I wasn’t motivated to blog.

It seems difficult for me to find a middle ground.

I no longer have any interest in trying to “attract” readers or trying to convince people to read my blog.  I’ve finally reached a point where I’m OK to write on my blog just because I want to write on my blog. It makes me feel better to write what’s on my mind. And if someone wants to read, that’s awesome! If they want to interact with me by leaving a comment, that’s even better.

I do love knowing someone might be out there reading. So, I’ll ask this question: Can anyone relate?

aug2011emily

7 Responses

  1. I waffled, too, b/t wanting to boost my followers by doing link-ups and just wanting to talk honestly about my life & kids to the people who really know me. I always welcome new readers, but I don't really go looking for them much, anymore. When I have serious bad stuff going on, I tend to get quiet; I'll "commiserate" about the petty bad stuff, but the REAL bad, I clam up. When I post about shopping or material things (I am crazy cheap & rarely buy things for myself, but every single time I do, it's b/c I LOVELOVELOVE it, so I have to blog it ALL!) I'm afraid people think I'm a materialistic ditz. 😛 When I post about my faith, I pray that my sincerity shines through & I don't sound holier-than-thou. I think we all have insecurities sometimes when we put ourselves out there, but I haven't regretted anything, yet. 🙂 And I'm with you – SO TREASURE the relatioships & friendships blogging has fostered!

  2. I don't really have any aspirations of being a writer, but started our blog to share with family and friends about our adoption journey(s). It has been odd though that in the end many of my followers are not really friends or family! Not saying I have a lot of followers, just that they have changed a bit from my original target audience. Many are fellow adoptive moms (or soon to be) which is nice, but sometimes it bothers me that strangers have more of an interest in my kids than my own relatives. Some do let me know they're following along, but others are hit or miss or not at all. I try not to be offended when they ask me questions that out them and let me know that they're not reading, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't sometimes bother me. I have to be careful not to make readership into a litmus test of how much/little anyone cares. Some people are just not blog readers and I TRY not to take it personally. I also try to remember that my blog is more of a diary for me and my own family and that it's valid even if no one else reads it. I especially need to remember that after I spend a lot of time on a post ;)Emily, I admire your drive to be the best at whatever you set your mind to do (sales, homeschool mom, blogger, communications director, wife, mom, etc.). You are such a brilliant and gifted person!! I just hope that your talents and drive never push you to the point that they begin to feel like curses. Please know that God and your friends and family will always love you for you (not just what you do!)–even if you should ever happen to fail at anything or your brilliance should ever dim (as unlikely as either of those are!).

  3. Karyn,I have experienced the exact same thing. When I was blogging a lot, the majority of my readers were people I did not know. It was difficult for me to understand why total strangers wanted to read my blog, but close friends and family didn't. I love reading your blog and those of other people I know… in fact, I wish more of my friends would blog, just because I think it's a fun way to get to know them better… But you are totally right! Some people like to read blogs and others don't, and it's not personal!Thanks for your wise words, also. I have always battled my "focus" and the way it can be both a blessing and a curse. As I get older (sigh!), I'm learning to keep it more in check, but it is definitely a balancing act! Thanks for your kind and thoughtful words. I appreciate your friendship!

  4. I was so excited to get another email today telling me you had a new blog post! I look forward to reading your blog! I enjoy them when you are funny & when you are serious – I enjoy when you can make me look at things in a different way… or when I realize how similar our kids are (well 2 of yours to my 2). I'm not a blogger at all but do enjoy reading them…Thanks for blogging more!!Laurel

  5. I love & totally agree with that Karyn said: "I have to be careful not to make readership into a litmus test of how much/little anyone cares. Some people are just not blog readers and I TRY not to take it personally. I also try to remember that my blog is more of a diary for me and my own family and that it's valid even if no one else reads it."And what you replied: "I wish more of my friends would blog, just because I think it's a fun way to get to know them better… But you are totally right! Some people like to read blogs and others don't, and it's not personal!"

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge

Back to Top